Don't be Fooled

Don't be fooled by me; don't be fooled by the face I wear,For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks,Masks that I am afraid to take off, and none of them are me.Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,Don’t be fooled; for God's sake don't be fooled.

I give you the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me.Within as well as without, that confidence is my name and coolness my game,That the water is calm and I'm in command, and that I need no-one,But don't believe me. Please. My surface may seem smoothBut my surface is my mask, my ever varying and ever concealing mask.Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence. Beneath dwells the real me in confusion.In fear, in aloneness. But I hide this.I don't want anyone to know it.

I panic at the thought of my fear and my weakness being exposed.That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind.A nonchalant, sophisticated façade to help me pretend.To shield me from the glance that knows.But such a glance is precisely my salvation. My only salvation.And I know it.That is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love.It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,From my own self built prison wall,From the barriers that I so painstakingly erect.It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself - that I'm really worth something.But I don't tell you this. I don't dare. I'm afraid to.

I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love.I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laughAnd your laugh would kill meI'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing, that I'm just no good, and that you will see this and reject me.So I play my game, my desperate pretending gameWith a façade of assurance without and a trembling child within.And so begins the parade of masks,The glittering but empty parade of masks,And my life becomes a front.

I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk,I tell you everything that is really nothing,And nothing of what's everything, or what's crying within meSo when I am going through my routine,Don't be fooled by what I'm sayingPlease listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying.